Abi Smissen - Gold Coast Doula

Power to the Mother is a series of interviews on the transformative and empowering experience of motherhood.

For the first of our Power to the Mother series, I interview Eloise Rickman, of Frida Be Mighty. Eloise has been hugely influential on my journey as a mother, particularly in the ways we choose to educate and parent our daughter, and I just love her courses. She has such a refreshing, kind and inclusive voice, so I was really looking forward to getting to know more about her experiences of birth and new motherhood. Here she is on having the birth you might not have planned for, training as a doula and hypnobirth teacher, friendships, and being present. I hope you enjoy her answers as much as I did.

Power to the MotherAbi Smissen2 November 2018fourth trimester, mindful parents, power to the mother, birth experiencesComment

Preconceptions and parenting.

I don't have many regrets as a mother, barely a handful. But if I had to choose one it would absolutely be the perceptions I placed upon myself of who I would be as a mother. So much aggravation would have been saved, of that I am positive, had I just shunned the pre-judgements and preconceptions, took them off, sealed them up and shoved them under the bed like last summer's clothes. I would not have been so unbelievably tired. It is hard trying to recover from birth, sleep with healing stiches, breastfeed on demand, keep yourself fed and watered, all while holding yourself to some unattainable standard you yourself created when brewing a small human.

Instinctive Parenting, The Fourth TrimesterAbi Smissen31 October 2018fourth trimester, mindful parentsComment

Celebrating Halloween.

Halloween is one of those things that I have always loved since a child. I think it stems from a deep-rooted fascination and romanticising of the darker elements of folklore and fairytales. Pumpkin carving, decorating the house, the smell of wood smoke in the air, the darker nights, dressing up. I was always one to revel in the magic.

Which is why it really surprises me this year how much I am craving a quieter and more intentional passing of Halloween for Eilish. Less of a bedecked affair with costumes and decorations. More subtle nods, an evening burnished with the browns and oranges of Autumn, and pumpkins aglow on the doorstep instead.

Abi Smissen25 October 2018Comment

Creating reverence.

“Life is to be experienced, not fought against, run from, or engaged halfheartedly. Though we may wish to make changes in the future, to be conscious is to be with an experience as it’s unfolding, rather than thinking about how we would like to change it. Taking charge of our life so that we alter the quality of our experiences in the future comes after an experience.” - Shelafi Tsabary, The Conscious Parent.

A candle lit at dinner time. A poem read most mornings. The music we play at breakfast. A bath time song. The cup of tea I cherish at every nap time. These are the moments of reverence and gratitude that our days rest upon.

Abi Smissen23 October 2018Comment

Maternal mental health and me.

It’s World Mental Health Day today, something that before having a baby would have been but the minutest blip on my radar.

Sometimes I feel like I have made my anxiety up. That I am undeserving of it being acknowledged at all. I brush it off as an “off day”, and push on until sometimes I break and sometimes I don’t. And then it perpetuates.

I was, and can still be, a person of laissez-faire attitude. Life goes on and I tended to be of the ‘it will all turn out alright in the end camp’, because usually it did. But then I gave birth, and it was pretty bad.